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If You Want to Fly, You Got Too Be Burnt 🔥 By the Sun 🌞 a Little

Updated: Jun 3

If you want to fly, you’ve got to get burnt by the sun a little.  

That was the message.  

I didn't know if it meant exposure—burnt by being seen.  

Maybe.  

But this was before Sun Valley. Before the job offer.  

I started, but I don’t know if they still want me.  



A trailer found me today. Sunlight.  


The lead character starts out:  

"Welcome to Sunlight Radio, everybody.  

Sorry for my absence, I’ve been indisposed."


It’s been two or three months since I’ve done any videos, podcasts, or lives, and I’ve been trying to decide how I want to do this.  

I enjoy writing the stories so much.


Then the main character wakes up in an RV with a Monkey-suited driver.  


The monkey in my last blog played his drum, and the ones with poison in their hearts—died.  



At first, the guy is startled.  

They drive. Through the desert.  



To dig up his dead dad.  

A grave waiting.  


I was driving through the desert in a dream with someone addicted to heroin.  

Somehow it was connected to my dad, an addict too.  



I know a road trip is coming.  


The day Ezra went to jail, Arcade Fire's new music video came out. The Year of the Snake.

And it tore through me.  

I talked to him the night before—that was the last time I heard from him.

I sent him the video, but he never saw it.  


The lyrics:  


"When you think about leaving, I know that you would."


I felt it. That chills.  

Am I leaving because he's ghosting me again?  


"When we we're in danger, I reached out to you like you knew that I would."


I did.  

Over and over.  

And nothing.  


"In the Year of the Rabbit, I picked up the habit of waiting on you."


But I was waiting on Kai most of that year because I was done.

Maybe he was waiting on me to evolve.  

What if I fucked up?  

I did.  

I know that.  


"I made a clean break and tried something new." 


Ezra disappeared.  

Kai said, "Don’t talk to me."  

I landed in Sun Valley.  


"My heart’s full of love...  

Do what is true.  

Don’t do what you should.  


I get that now.  

Letting go because I didn't want to be the old-me 


Now, the job wants me to conform.  

I said no.  

I can't stop thinking about jumping in that car.  


"Let your heart break.  

Let the earth quake...  

Let the fire blaze.  

Let the light change."_  


And in the video—a couple preps their van.  

The desert waiting.  

And me—  

with the monkey.  

or I am the monkey.


Road trips aren’t always roads.  

They’re jumps between selves.  

Electric leaps.  

The current running between neurons—  

if you’re not ready, it shocks you.  

Burns you clean.  


The monkey says he’s starting a job at the lake.  

The guy wants to dig up his dead dad.  

And the monkey—he’s hiding a girl.  

Me?  Or is it someone else?


She’s afraid to come out.  

Afraid she won’t be liked.  

That’s me.  

I’m raw on the outside, but soft underneath.  


Then the guy gets the wolf outfit

Puts it on.  

Howls.  


Hard to say who I am.  

Hard to say if Ezra is the wolf.  

Hard to say anything, really.  

But all of this—  

The whole outer world.  

Just like your outer world is yours.  



Once the wolf is free, the monkey says they’re going into business together.  


And that’s what I want.  

Someone this excited on building their own world with me.  

Who?  

No clue.  

Maybe I’ll find out.  


"We’re gonna leave our old lives behind, tear up the road ahead, and cause a travesty," says the monkey.  


YES.  

A thousand times—YES.  


By Sonya Herrera  

✨❤️‍🔥🏵️ AWEnomALi 🏵️ ❤️‍🔥 ✨ 

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